I like the warm, cozy, fuzzy feeling I get when I’m attached. I feel secure and safe. I relax. I just want to stay there forever. There is no fine stream of air between us. We are one. We do not exist apart from the other. This feeling is what I’ve always wanted.
A couple of issues arise for me, however. First, I realize my experience of “coming home” is dependent on another. If he/she weren’t present I wouldn’t feel warm and safe. My experience of life is in his/her hands. I cannot afford to have my life in anyone else’s hands anymore, though. Yet I still want the experience of security. That is my dilemma. Second, is a sense of loss of self in order to connect in this way. I fill in the void inside me with the other’s energy, feelings, opinions, etc.
There is a way of having my cake and eating it too – maintain a sense of wholeness of self while connecting to others. So I’ll have no voids for another to fill. My sense of wholeness comes from knowing that my Source of security is within me.
In that moment of awareness that I have a choice of losing or maintaining self, when I can, I consciously choose wholeness and focus my will to connect from that place. Then this wonderful thing happens, I sense an expansion of myself, of the moment and of the other.
You must log in to post a comment.